


Not over You Yet

by AssassinPyro13



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Disbelief Papyrus (Undertale), Frisk either can't or wont reset the timeline, Healing, Misunderstandings, No Beta, No Romance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Papyrus (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Papyrus (Undertale)-centric, Papyrus is depressed, Sad Papyrus (Undertale), Slow Burn, Tags May Change, This is about Papyrus healing from the loss of his brother, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, We Die Like Men, and he's not getting over it, learning to get over grief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27440938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssassinPyro13/pseuds/AssassinPyro13
Summary: (Tags and such will change and some will be added the further this story goes on)It's been five years since monsters were freed from the surface. Frisk had done it, but at what cost? A single casualty that left Papyrus dealing with the after effects. The death of his brother clings to him to this day and he's not sure how he can handle it. But at least he made a new friend. A nice human who doesn't appear to want to do him any harm. That's a good thing, right?
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

“That'll be $11.50.”

Papyrus gave a start; being brought back to reality upon the cashiers voice before him. The purse he carried on his shoulder suddenly felt heavy as he clutched the strap in his surprise, forgetting where he had been for a moment, so lost in his thoughts that he had completely forgotten that he had come to buy a pork roast and now was standing before the human worker awkwardly.

“Ah-” Hurrying to clear his throat, Papyrus scrambled to reach into his bag; shaking and fumbling as he sought for his wallet. “I'm sorry, I'm not usually this out of it.”

Sadly, despite the mild understanding look on the womans face; something inside him told him that she hadn't been particularly happy with him and the fact that he had held up a very busy line because he got lost in memories after just a small smell of spilt ketchup.  
  
It had been five years since they had been freed from their confined prison of the underground. It had been a crazy handful of years. Monsters weren't fully accepted among the human race above ground but it had been better than what Asgore had feared it would have been. Sure, there had been hate crimes here and there but that was bound to happen. Humans were a fearful and skittish race so he couldn't fault them all.... No, he only faulted one human.

It had also been five years since-......

Papyrus inhaled sharply. _'Snap out of it, Papyrus. Just pay for the roast and lets get home. Don't... Not here. Don't break down here!'_ Managing to grasp a twenty instead of the card he had stashed somewhere down there; it was handed to the cashier without a second thought. He'd get another twenty to pay Undyne back later. She'd understand anyhow.

Taking the money with a smile, the cashier hurried to type on her keyboard to deposit the money and count the change.

“I like your jacket.” The humans compliment gave him a feeling of grief rather than comfort like it had intended. No doubt the woman had caught sight of his state and was trying to make him feel better. He wished it had worked.

_He always knew how to make me laugh..._

“Th-thank you....” His other hand going to touch the sliced front of the blue fabric. “It... belongs to my brother....”

“Oh, he lets you borrow it then?” Her hand outstretched to him with his change; smiling at him expectantly.... _Cluelessly..._

Papyrus felt his soul tighten and he accepted his change; dumping it in his back and grabbing the bag with his cold roast within it. He didn't know how to respond when he felt like this, so he didn't. Instead, he gave his thanks and left without a word; making sure to take his receipt along with him.

Instead, as he got into his car; roast on the passenger seat as he backed out carefully; Papyrus turned on the radio and thought about the barbecue and pulled pork he was going to make with the crockpot that Lady Toriel gave him as a house warming present four years ago.

It almost made him feel normal to think of the simple things that people take for granted, such as food or what one was going to wear for the cookout. Although he didn't particularly want to go to the cookout tomorrow. Sure, it was going to be hosted by the king and all his friends were there; that wasn't the problem. He loved his friends and he was sure they were all worried about him; considering how often they showed up unannounced to check on him at random days on random hours.

The last time someone stopped by was about three days ago- Undyne to be exact. She was his best friend after all and had managed to drag him out of his apartment for a run and day at the fair. It had been fun despite the lingering discomfort and sadness and the desire to hole up at home. It felt normal and he was able to forget for a day.  
  
No, the problem with the barbecue was the human Frisk. That was the last person Papyrus had ever wanted to see- ever. The last time he saw the small human was in the Judgment hall; mere hours after witnessing Sans' death as he brother jumped in front of the knife for him back in Snowdin.

Judgment hall had been a cold wake up call. Papyrus had broke down sobbing that day after initiating a fight with the human; only for them to pass him as he was lost to his sorrow; sobbing uncontrollably on his knees of the cold golden floors.

Everyone had been spared, except for Sans.

Papyrus had been the humans true target that night. He didn't know what he did or why that prompted them to land that killing attack that his brother shielded him from. In a way, Papyrus blamed himself. Maybe he had come across as too arrogant; maybe the human found him annoying or too much to handle? He had set them off somehow and they had wanted to hurt him.

And they did, just not in the way they had expected to.

Papyrus had done his best to avoid the human, never speaking to anyone about how Sans had died. All they knew was that he had passed and that his Dust sat on that shelf that Papyrus made sure was secure enough. Every day, he kept it clean, going to far as to have a pun book sitting up and partially open. It was a rather silly thing of him to do but it helped him cope. He was sure Sans would have appreciated the gesture if he could.

A honk tore him out of his thoughts; sending his soul in a panic and he jerked just a smidgen. He had gotten distracted on the road again. His mind had gotten off the musings the music brought and the internal debate over the food he was going to cook. Straightening out, he brought a hand to his skull and pulled over to the side of the road, allowing traffic to pass and stare as he parked; both hands over his face as he took a deep calming breath.

He had stopped on the side of the road every so often over the past few years to cry it out- this hardly being the first or the last time this will happen. However, this was the first time he nearly stopped in the middle of the road or nearly crossed the double yellow lines. He needed to compose himself.

_It'd been five years and he couldn't shake off this grief!_

If anything, it only felt like it had been getting worse and he had overheard some of his friends, the last time he visited about their fears of him falling down.

Maybe he was falling.... A monster could fall for a decade before dusting. For all he knew, he might be. Maybe the dreams of dust were actually in his sockets and not really dreams after all.

_'No, Focus!'_ Hands gripping at his sockets; shielding his sight from the setting sun. _'Calm thoughts. Calm, happy thoughts. You can cry it out and write in your journal like your therapist told you to do.'_ Deep breaths; in and out. The hold on his sockets lightened and his palms slid down his cheeks before slowly grabbing the steering wheel once more; just gripping it.

Reaching up, Papyrus took the sun visor down and flipped open the mirror. Stars, he looked a mess. How long had he had that grayness around the lower part of his sockets? How long had he held that sad expression on his face? How long had he had those questions floating around in his head?

Too long. That was the answer. His therapy was fairly new; only a few days in and already he wasn't sure he wanted to go back. Not that the person tending to him was a bad person, they seemed great. But therapy just seemed to make him feel worse rather than better. He had been thinking of Sans more and more often and sleep was hard during the night while during the day, he had to catch naps on the couch when he wasn't working. Which was something he never thought would happen in his life until now.

He can understand why Sans was always so tired back then. Papyrus found himself regretting yelling at his brother for his constant napping and japery more and more often the longer he stopped to think about it.

Glancing over, he stared at the bag on the seat where the roast sat; cold yet slowly warming from being out of refrigeration.

_'Focus on the roast. Focus on the roast.'_ He mentally chanted to himself- starting the car once more before pulling back out on the road and on his way home. The music no longer registered to his mind and with a flick of his wrist, the radio went off. He had to focus on the roast. That was his anchor this time. What did he want to add to the sauce?

_'Ketchup is good with barbecue.'_ No! Papyrus gave his head a jerky shake. That was one thing he never wanted in his house again; at least not for a while. No. Maybe some garlic powder and some onions. He was sure he had those in the apartment. Yes, that sounded nice. Diced onions with some garlic powder. Did he have buns? Maybe not. It should be a fine serving even without buns.

Pulling into his spot in front of the old apartment building; he parked and turned off the car before unbuckling and grabbing his roast; climbing out and locking his vehicle.

The building he lived in wasn't super tall. Maybe eight floors or less; with a gray brick exterior that was shoddily decorated with cheap terrain. The flowers looked as if they hadn't been watered in days- No doubt if Asgore saw them, he'd be sad, considering how well he keeps his garden.

Opening the glass doors, the elevator was a straight shot and with his long legs, he got there in no time, even though his body felt too heavy to go too fast. Stopping by a woman with light brown hair and a denim jacket, he was about to push the up button only to stop and return his hand to his side. Looks like the human had already pushed it. Now what was he to do?

Glancing to the woman again, he noticed her phone out and her scrolling through an app. Papyrus glanced away. It was rude to watch or stare.

It was funny. At any other time in his life, he would have greeted every new face with enthusiasm. But these days, he just couldn't muster the energy to.

“Knock knock.”

Huh?

Blinking, he jumped a little, peering over back at the human cautiously to make sure she wasn't on a call or something. But no, the human was staring at him; and catching his eye, she smirked gleefully.

“Knock knock.” She had repeated while pretending to knock on a door. Knock knock jokes? His soul gave a mild pang, but he played along.  
  
“Who's there?”

His response appeared to be the right choice as she stuffed her phone in her pocket in favor of lightly waving her arms around- Alphys said it was “talking with your hands”, which was confusing because this was not sign language.

“Little old lady.” Giving him a tilt of her head, the humans blue eyes were wide and alight with mischief.....

_'Just like his-no, stop it Papyrus!'_

Oh, he knew this one. This was the very first joke Sans told him. He remembered it because when he was a kid, Sans had decided to tell it in a field of echo flowers, making all of them yodel the joke for days.

A faint smile graced his face as well as a soft breathy laugh. “Little old lady who?” Papyrus asked, head low a bit to avoid her gaze on him.

“Little-old-ladeeeee-hoooo!” Ah of course. She too yodeled the punchline instead of the other response of the joke. But it was nice. He thought the familiar joke would have made the pain in his soul worse rather than better.

With another breathy laugh escaping him, his head rose just a little to return the gaze to this strange human; one who looked all too pleased with herself; even giving him jazz hands. He had to stop himself from the tiny snort about to escape him.

“Funny joke, yeah?” The human asked, stuffing her hands in her denim jacket. “Sorry, I know, it was weird. But you just looked so sad and I wanted to cheer you up a bit.”  
  
“It worked, thank you.” And he meant it too. It wasn't often when he could say that without the taste of the bitter lie following it. It was honest and it felt great. “It wasn't weird to me. Trust me, I have heard much worse.”  
  
Snorting, the human shifted her weight with her other foot, rubbing her thumb along her nose like he had seen some people do in the movies. It was a silly gesture but at least he knew it was all in good fun with the grin on her face.

“A challenge, I see. I need to step up my game then.” Her hand was soon outstretched to him for a shake; one he was happy to give before letting her hand drop. “My name's Jersey. Nice to meet you. You live here too?”  
  
“Yes, I do. U-Um...” Bringing a hand to his chest, he bobbed his head slightly to one side. “My name is Papyrus. I love on the third floor.”  
  
Jersey gasped, snapping her fingers. “No way, me too! B5.”

Papyrus felt his brows shoot up in surprise. This had to be a coincidence. “That's right next to mine on the right. I'm B5.”

“Oh wait!” Pointing to him, she continued. “Yeah, I think I saw you when you were just moving in. You had the queen of monsters with you, right? The fluffy goat lady?”  
  
Papyrus, hand tightening on the strap of his purse, he snorted; just imagining Toriel reacting to be called that. Eyes low, his smile grew. “Yes, Lady Toriel helped me find this place. It was cheap and close to her home so she can come visit me easier.”  
  
Which also meant he was close to Frisk too but that monster was a can of worms he wanted to chuck out of the goddamned window and forget about all together. Wait, why had he said all that? He could have simply just said “yes”. Was he really that lonely that he'd share with anyone who would speak to him?

However, Jersey didn't seem to mind, as they stepped into the now open elevator; she pushed the button for the third floor.

“That was nice of her. Although she could have done better. This place is a dump. Unless your budget is low, I can't imagine why you'd want to live in a place like this.”

Her words had Papyrus confused; one brow raised and a frown on his face. How was this place so bad? Sure it was a bit bland on the outside, but it was a decent neighborhood and there was nothing broken on the building yet from what he seen.

“Well, anyway. I'm just getting home from an outing. You?” Staring back at him as if she hadn't even noticed the look on Papyrus' face from her comment.

Blinking, he gave a flustered sputter; shifting as he was not expecting the question sent to him. In the end, he dumbly held up the shopping bag in his hand. “Ah-roast...” He cleared his throat in embarrassment once more, eyes back to staring at his sneakers.

“Oooooh, My favorite. Whatcha makin'?”

“R-roast- what I mean is, barbecue pulled pork! My friends are hosting a get together and I offered to bring some.” He could slap himself. It really had been a long time since he spoken to anyone besides his friends if he was stumbling over his words like this on a simple conversation to pass the time.

Jersey gave a moan and waved her hands at her face. “Oh noo, you've gone and made me hungry! If I smell that through my walls, I'm coming over there and demanding some.” The grin on her face was infectious and Papyrus found himself lightly laughing with a grin of his own.

“WELL IN THAT CASE, YOU WOULD HAVE TO COME HAVE SOME!” Gasping, he cupped a hand over his face. He went fontus! He hadn't done that since Sans had...... Going cap fontus after so long without using it had hurt his throat a bit, but it felt.... nice.... freeing even. It wasn't much but it felt as if a tiny weight was being lifted off his shoulders by using it.

And judging from Jersey's expression, she hadn't been expecting the loud volume but cackled all the same, hand on her stomach as she let out this loud belly laugh he didn't know humans could do.  
  
“I don't know WHAT that was but that was great!” Wiping away a tear as she caught her breath, Jersey, gave a sniff from all that laughter. “You serious. If I actually smelled it, I could have some?”  
  
Papyrus, sputtering, he puffed up a bit. “W-WELL OF COURSE YOU CAN! IT WOULD BE RUDE TO OFFER AND THEN DENY IT TO YOU! I COULD EVEN STORE SOME FOR YOU EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T SMELL IT!”

He did it again!! What was happening?! How did he go from sobbing on the side of the road to coming home and offering to feed the first person that had managed to make him laugh after five years?! And using his CAP FONTUS while doing it!!

This had to be a dream. It could be that he was asleep on the side of the road, right?........ Right??

No, this wasn't a dream. The coldness of the roast on his thigh was starting to hurt after a while. You don't hurt in everyday dreams.

With a gentle smile, Jersey tucked some hair behind her ear; looking slightly shy. “Thank you. I would really appreciate that, Papyrus, was it?” He nodded. “Thank you, Papyrus. Want my number so I don't have to knock on your door every day?” The crinkle in her eyes told him she was joking about knocking on his door everyday.

“Not joking either. That's my favorite dish.” Ah, well, it would appear he was wrong about her joking. But it brought another smile to his face and with a quick exchange of their numbers, the door opened; allowing them both to step out and walk to their respective doors.

But the happiness couldn't last. It never did for him anymore. As he got to his door with his keys in his hand, he heard Jersey ask this:

“Did you know that you're coat's ripped?”

Pausing mid, turn of the key; there was that sadness that haunted him. Taking a deep breath, Papyrus twisted the knob and opened the door. “I know...” Before stepping inside and closing it behind him; leaning against it from the inside of his apartment with his hands on his face, sliding down the door to sit; purse and roast on either side of him.

The room he lived in was a small studio apartment. While very clean, there was clutter that was sprinkled around the place. A book on the coffee table. Bills on the kitchen counter. Sans' book had fallen on the floor, somehow. Standing, Papyrus locked the door before stepping to the fallen book and dusted the dirt off it, fixing it in front of the jar; watery smile on his face.

“There we go, Sans. There's better ways to get my attention, you know. Did you get tired of that page?” Hands up, he gently flipped the page for the jar of dust. “I'll get a movie playing in a bit for you, brother. I just need to start on the roast first. It'll need to cook for a few hours.”

Dan said that talking to his brother would help him feel a little better. And he was sort of right... It did sadden him that he would never hear Sans' voice again or be pestered by insatiable amount of puns. But it did lighten his soul a bit to speak to Sans as if his older brother was still there. Slipping off the blue coat, Papyrus made his way to the hallway closet and hung it up; hand lightly patting it down where it hung by itself in its own little sanctuary with the vacuum and broom.

“Sorry, Sans. I needed to use your coat today. It was chilly and mine was still in the wash.” Maybe he should move it to the dryer now. He didn't hear it at the moment. While he didn't normally leave to go do things in town while laundry washed, it certainly wasn't a habit he was keeping. He'll switch it over later.

Returning to the door to grab the roast and his purse, he set the purse on the coffee table and stepped into the kitchen to prep the food. Toriels cooking lessons were starting to pay off. He owed her a lot over these past few years. While his friends did their best to help him, she was the only one who actually knew how to cook and insisted that she teach him the right way before he accidentally burned another home down; not that he did that while on the surface. But Undynes old fish home was never the same again, even after the small human burnt it during their and Undynes lesson.

Timer set and laundry drying in the dryer, he returned to the small area he called a living room and sat down, taking the time to check his phone for messages. Like everyday, the others were messaging him, telling him about their days and checking up on him; asking for updates.

Usually, he would spend time to reply to them while the movie played in the background but a new contact was messaging him. It was from a new number; Jersey. The number matched the one on the paper she wrote him. Taking a small breath, he tapped on it.

_ [Number]: “Hey, I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I didn't mean to upset you.” _

Papyrus hurried to add her number to his phone before replying.

_ [Papyrus]: “It's alright, Jersey. It's just been a long week for me....” _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: (His phone auto-corrected it, Darn it!) “Aww, sorry to hear-well-READ that.” :( “Anything I can do to cheer you up? Want to hear some puns?” _

_ [Papyrus]: “Honestly, after what I have been through lately, I don't think puns will cheer me up. But if you want to tell them, then feel free to.” _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “Not a pun lover, huh?” _

_ [Papyrus]: “Weeeeell..... I don't MIND them.” _

Almost instantly, he regretted sending that message.

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “Aww, BOO!” raspberry emoji “Now I HAVE to do it.” ;3 “look what you made me do. Now I have to do some serious homework if I'm gonna **roast** you!” _

_ [Papyrus]: “Do not roas-WAIT A MINUTE....!” _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: :D _

_ [Papyrus]: “THAT'S IT! I'M HANGING UP NOW!!!” scream emoji _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “Lol! Nuuuuu! Dun leeeeaaaaaave! I'm sorry!” crying laughing face emoji _

_ [Papyrus]: “Too late! The damage is done! I'm **stewing** in my own rage! _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “LOL! You did a pun too!” _

_ [Papyrus]: “ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN INFECTED WITH BAD TASTE!” _

With a smile creeping on his face, Papyrus sunk into the couch and forgot about the movie. For the first time in a long, long time, this felt nice.


	2. Chapter 2

He didn't want to do this- stars he didn't want to do this! Someone stop him please! A car crash, a call in from work; anything to keep him from needing to see _them_! Hands clutching the made pulled pork roast, shook as he nerves wracked his body the closer he got to Toriel's home. The sun above on this fine clear day; felt ironically cold as he drew closer to that picket fence with the chattering and splashing monsters within the property as they enjoyed the Barbecue and pool the queen had arranged for the get together. This was a mistake- he shouldn't be here; shouldn't have come. He wasn't ready to see _them_ \- didn't want to. Not after what they did.

Stopping at the gate, Papyrus just watched; eyes sunken and dead as he took in the joy surrounding them. Nice green grass, delicious smells, happy faces. They were all so unaware of the dangerous _**creature**_ that had hidden themselves within their midst. Gaze scanning the crowd; he watched Undyne jump in the pool, having apparently challenged a stray human that had been invited to a breath holding contest in which the other had foolishly agreed- not knowing that they'd lose. Undyne had gills, she could breathe underwater. It was hardly a fair fight- especially in the cold temperature of the season.

Alphys was; of course, not too far from her wife; only content to sit on the nearest chair under the shade with a jacket zipped all the way up. While yes, it was beginning to grow cold, it was still warm enough for a swim; but unlike other monsters, lizardillians were sensitive to the chill, so this wasn't too far from the norm.

Feeling a chill go down his spine, Papyrus glanced over to see what he had been dreading. Frisk stood there; eyes wide and face pale as they dropped the football they were holding; mouth opening and closing as if they hadn't expected him to show- not too different to how Papyrus was currently; frozen in place, that was. His jaw was clenched shut tightly; afraid he would say something he shouldn't; do something he shouldn't. Attacking the tiny _thing_ wouldn't bring his brother back- it wouldn't change how he felt, despite the grief in his soul demanding vengeance.

Besides, he didn't have it in him to harm another, no matter how he felt toward it- the moment in Judgment Hall was proof enough of that.

“P-Papyrus! Dear, you came! I'm so glad.” Stepping in front of him with hands clasped together, Toriel stepped in front of him- breaking the view he held with Frisk. Giving the skeleton a once over, her gaze froze on the coat he had warm, eyes flooding with a mixture of grief and worry. “Dear, you're wearing his coat.”

Gulping, Papyrus shoved the container with the hot roast in her hands. He couldn't stay. He wasn't ready to face the brother killer within his friend group.

“I have made the roast, as promised.” He managed to squeak out, back turned to Toriel; feeling the ever growing eyes turning to stare at his back. While the monsters on the property gave him worried glances, the humans were curious- if not a bit prying. “Now I must return. I have a lot of work to do at home and I wouldn't want to miss-”

“Papyrus, dear, I was rather hoping you'd stay... and enjoy the get together...” While intending to comfort him, Toriel's words only added to the stress he felt to the situation. Tensing under her hand; Papyrus was grateful she could not see his expression; fearing that it would only give himself away to the others of how he was doing.

They didn't know, they wouldn't understand.

“And,” Toriel continued, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze; tone soft and pleading to him. “You have been cooped up for so long... If it wasn't for work; I was worried you'd become a hermit... Please, don't close us out... I know moving on is hard, but Sans wouldn't have wanted you to worry.”  
  
His soul ached at hearing her utter his brothers name. What right did she have to say his name while she harbors his murderer?! Papyrus had to fight to keep his hands from tightening into a fist while fighting off a painful whine from escaping his throat. She didn't know. She didn't know....

“I am doing fine, your majesty.” Blurting out before he could stop himself; mind racing to come up with an excuse to leave. “In-In fact, I met someone and we were going to go do something today!”  
  
“You planned something during the GET TOGETHER?! What the hell, Papyrus!!” He could hear Undyne shout out to him before the splash and sloshing of water before the squealing of humans as she rushed to the fence; reaching over the fence and forcing the skeleton around and grabbing his shirt to pull him close. “DO you know HOW LONG it took to convince you to come here and leave your house?! SUDDENLY there's a new person who got you out of the house after how long?!”

She was shaking him now, but not nearly as hard as she would have if she was actually angry. And if that hadn't given her away, the smirking on her face would have without a doubt. Letting him go after shortly screaming at him, Undyne crossed her arms. “Looks like I'll have to thank them.”

“Please don't...”

“What was that?!”

Sockets wide in surprise, Papyrus cleared his throat and coughed in his hand. Stars, he had said that out loud hadn't her. Avoiding her gaze, he gave a tug to his shirt collar, having put his scarf and battle body in the closet years ago to collect dust. Such innocence that he had, died when Sans did.

“I-I only meant that, they-we-I just met them! I just-I mean!!”

“I get it, ya nerd!!” Suddenly finding himself in a choke hold whilst in an awkward angle, he gave a 'Nyeh' in despair at the knuckled grinding into his skull. “Don't want us to meet your new buddy, huh? Do I need to give this friend the 'talk' about what will happen if they hurt my best friend?!”

That was a whole other wave of nausea going through his nonexistent stomach. He knew where this conversation was going and he wanted out of here even more than he did when he was driving up here to deliver the roast.

The thought of dating anyone right now made him feel sick and nervous all at the same time. When Sans was alive, it wouldn't have been an issue. In fact, with his brother around, Papyrus always felt like he could do anything, take over the world even. Knowing that Sans was there, the taller skeleton would have leapt for joy at the thought of going out.

But Sans wasn't here. Not anymore. And neither was his desire to go out with anyone, human or otherwise. Frankly, he was sure that part of him died with his brother and took any romantic urges with him.

He was alone and in very little state to let anyone new in.

The last time he allowed anyone close to him, emotionally, was the day he lost his only remaining family member.

“Pap?” Somewhere down the line when Papyrus was lost in thought, Undyne had stopped her noogie assult on his skull and was now watching him with concern; remaining eye scanning his body to read his physical body language for any signs of distress.

“S-Sorry, Undyne, I was just thinking.. Can I please go now? I need to get ready.” Ready for what? Nothing really but they didn't need to know that he lied about his plans to hang out with Jersey. Stars, they didn't have to even believe him. He just had to go home. Not for any particular reason but home was.....

….Home was easier.....

“O-Oh... Uh.... sure?” Arm letting go, Papyrus gratefully slipped out of the awkward position he had been forced into. Forcing a smile, he pretended not to notice the looks sent his way from Toriel and Undyne. The demon, he noticed now that he had his view of the backyard back, had vanished; most likely hiding in the house once the skeleton was looking away.

Attention back to the two, he began to slowly back away. “I will hang out another day, don't worry.” Another lie. As long as that demon was around, he doubted he would come to Toriels house anytime soon.

Not waiting for a response from either of them, he fled to his car as fast as he could.

He couldn't return to his apartment fast enough. The ride had been filled with radio music and static before it ended with him parking on the side of the road while he cried and wailed his grief and frustrations with nothing but the people on the radio, unknowingly listening.

Slipping into his home, the monster hadn't wasted a second to lock it and carefully sliding off Sans' coat. It might have been slightly out of spite that he wore it. He knew he was going to see the murderer as he was dropping off the meal and the jacket had been a last minute reminder of their sins. He wasn't going to let them forget what they did to him;

-to Sans.

Taking a deep breath, Papyrus held the jacket close to his chest; his hands clutched tightly in the blue fabric and it had been a short while for him to collect himself before he stepped away to go place the jacket back into the closet and checking on Sans' dust. Once more, the book had fallen over, and he wasted no time to correct it with a flip to a new page.

With his stomach empty and growling, he grabbed his phone and called the local pizza parlor.

Pizza became his comfort food, especially after the passing of a beloved. Sans had bought them pizza when their father died after the funeral and his dust spreading, and Grillby stopped by his home to deliver a pizza that he made the day the group found out about Sans' fate. It was his to go to food for when a moment like this happened.

Papyrus hated grease. But as he bit into that pineapple and ham coated cheese; he felt that he couldn't really care. He made an exception when it came to his comfort food, although a part of him hated that he ordered this particular kind of pizza.

It was Sans' favorite, not his.

But he stomached it. While he found the taste displeasing, it was another reminder of the good times when he still had his brother; for a moment, he could forget that Sans was gone and Papyrus could pretend, for just a moment, that his brother was at Grillbys.

Sometimes he would stay up past five; pretending that Sans would be home any minute.

His therapist thought that had been unhealthy. That some habits he had taken up hadn't been good for his mind. More than often, his therapist had advised Papyrus to try and let Sans go to rest.

But how can you rest when your brothers ashes sat not too far away?

It was painstaking when Toriel and the others tried to sit him down to discuss Sans' funeral and dust scattering. That had been one time and Papyrus couldn't bring it upon himself to mention it to them again after he had run out of Undynes house with the jar clutched to his chest.

He just couldn't let go.

That was part of the reason that he was with his therapist. While Andy wasn't a grief councilor, he did his best to help Papyrus slowly work through his grieving.

It was.... difficult, to say the least. With Papyrus not wanting to let go but knowing that he needed to in order to move on; he was hesitant.

The talks, the journals, the drawings and sessions.

He didn't want to go back.

Of course, it was his choice on if he wanted to go back to Andy, but Undyne would find out. And if she didn't drag him back to his sessions, she'd make sure the others got involved.

Papyrus gave a wince at the thought and curled further on his couch where the box of pizza sat on the cushions beside him as a pineapple chunk squished in his teeth. Fingers picking at his plad-styled pajama bottoms, he hurried to take another bite; teeth grazing the crust.

He didn't want to worry them. He was a grown skeleton and could manage. It wasn't like he didn't leave his house. He went to work and shopped for all of his own groceries. That was progress. A couple years ago he hadn't been able to get out of bed and Alphys was the one getting him his groceries and sitting with him when the nights got really bad as a movie played on the tv.

His phone gave an alert as a text came through on his phone. Stuffing the crust into his mouth, Papyrus wiped his hands on a napkin before grabbing it from the coffee table, scrolling through the apps to check it. It was from Jersey.

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “Hey, I'm sorry if this seems rude or something but are you home? I know you said you were out doing something but your appointment door has light shining from the bottom of it and I wanted to make sure no one was breaking in.” _

With a blink, he bit off some crust to chew and set the rest into the half empty box before writing his reply.

_ [Papyrus]: “I AM HOME. BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING AT MY DOOR?” _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “OISJD! I knew that sounded weird!! I was actually heading out to get food and saw it as I was passing by. Sorry.” _

_[Papyrus]: “OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT. I WAS JUST WONDERING.”_ Idly his mind wondered to the fridge when he saw her mention food. That's right, he had to give her the portion of the pulled pork that he promised...

...Ah, he might as well...

_ [Papyrus]: “Well, if you're still nearby, I can give you the pulled pork I promised yesterday.” _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “Really?! I forgot all about that! Sure! I'll hurry into the elevator and be back up in a few minutes! Thanks man, you didn't really have to.” _

_ [Papyrus]: “I DID PROMISE TO SAVE YOU SOME. AND THE PORK WAS BIGGER THAN I MEANT TO GET SO IT WORKS OUT.” _

_ [Jersey-Shore]: “Sweet! Well, thanks again. I'm in the elevator now. See you in a few.” _

That was where the texts ended. Closing the box with the half remaining pizza, he clambered to his feet slowly and slid the box to the coffee table along with his phone before slowly stepping to the fridge to collect the container within.

The chill of the fridge, as he gently slid the butter and eggs to the side, left an imprint of a familiar time back in Snowdin. Shaking the memories away before they could flood his mind, he grasped the container hurriedly and stood; closing the door behind him as he stepped to the counter and sat it down; waiting for his human neighbor to get there with a muted silence that held an eerily familiar shadow in the farthest corner.

Never before had it felt so cold, so hallow. His home had never appeared so empty before, despite the clothes and furniture littered about. It was lonely and that feeling seemed to be growing stronger every passing day.

How long had it been since he invited someone over just to spend time with him and to fill the frightening silence? Stars, it had to have been at least a year or so... Maybe a few months.

Other than a few morning visits, none of his friends actually stepped inside his apartment. Maybe it was the jar of dust on the wall shelving that put them off, but then again, that was sometimes normal for grieving monsters. It could be because the place looked gloomy and ready for a funeral reception to step inside with how little light he allowed in.

Or maybe it was just Papyrus himself.

It had been years since he heard the casual complaint of strangers about him being “too chipper”. Now-a-days, he only heard passing comments about the air of sadness he seemed to bring. That had hurt a bit. Papyrus never intended to make others feel sad, but he couldn't hide his own feelings.

He was just so alone without his brother; he didn't really know what to do without him. It was bad enough when their father passed on and Sans had to raise Papyrus when the youngest was only three at the time and couldn't understand where daddy had gone and why he wasn't coming back.

Sans must of felt how Papyrus was now. The main difference was that Sans had something to live for. His brother had a babybones that he needed to raise on his own. Papyrus had no one.

Well, that wasn't true. He had a fish but a pet wasn't the same as a person to fill the silence. Plus, fish didn't last long, as the skeleton found out. This was his third fish since moving to the surface and he wasn't sure he could part with a fourth scaly friend after this one died.

Maybe he should start inviting his friends over more. It would give him the incentive to clean up a bit more; something he lacked the strength to do the past few years in his depression.

Papyrus was all too eager to answer the door once he heard the knocking. He was tired of his thoughts and he just wanted to forget it all, just for one day at least.

Jersey was in mid-knock when he opened the door; one hand in her coat pocket and the other raised. Her mouth was in a startled O fashion with eyes bugging in surprise but soon collected herself; lowering her arm to stuff it in her other coat pocket before switching her posture into a lazy relaxed state.

“Hey, bone man. So I head you make me something yummy?” She chirped; eyes lingering to the apartment behind him with a slightly furrowed brow.

“AH YES!” Finding his voice, he brought his fist to his mouth to clear his throat before stepping to the side. “PLEASE COME IN. I HAVE IT ON THE COUNTER.” Closing the door when Jersey shuffled inside hesitantly. “WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO HEAT IT UP FOR YOU?”

Jersey jerked a little; snapping out of her stupor from her gander at his living area. “O-Oh-um...” Biting at her bottom lip, she brought a hand up to scratch the back of her head with a small grin. “You don't need to. I can heat it up at home....” Her hand lowered as she went back to glancing around. “Nice... Place.”

“YOU CAN SAY IT. IT'S A MESS...” Deadpanning a bit, he swiveled past her to head to the kitchen where the container of food sat on the counter.

“No, no- well, I mean.....” She kicked a pair of pants gently to the side with her work boot. “It could use a bit of tiding up....” Shoulders tense as if she had been intruding.

As Papyrus returned with the container, he gave a sigh; stepping to her. “YES, I KNOW. IT'S BEEN A DIFFICULT FEW YEARS. I'M NOT NORMALLY THIS UNORGANIZED. USUALLY IT'S SA-” inhaling, he halts his sentence there; earning a concerned look from the human before he once more cleared his throat and placed the container in her hands. “M-MY BROTHER.... MAKING.... THE MESSES....”

Her eyes scanned over his face, fingers tapping at the plastic she held. “I didn't know you have a brother.”

“HAD....” With a wince, Papyrus corrected; bringing his scarf up to cover his mouth. Even in his t-shirt and pajamas, he wore the scarf. It was one of the few comforting things he had around the house anymore. “HE..... PASSED AWAY A FEW YEARS AGO.... I HAVEN'T REALLY......”

“Hey, it's okay....” Jersey's soft tone and gentle hand on his arm both surprised and unnerved him and he couldn't help but jerk back away from the touch. He didn't understand. She was offering comfort and support, but touching made him uncomfortable.

Lucky for him, she appeared to understand and hadn't looked in the least upset, hand going to the top of the container. “Sorry...... Anyway, I get it. It's hard to deal with... But talking helps... And I'm right next door if you need an ear.....” But then the human gave him a grin that he was all too familiar with. “Or two. One could say I'm _'all ears'_...”

Full on deadpan at this point, the skeleton stomped to the door and pointed. “OUT... I WILL NOT HAVE YOUR PUNS INFECT ME.”

Cackling, she obeyed; stepping out into the hall of the complex before pausing; turning back to him.

“I mean it, though. If you need someone to talk to... You know where I live.”

“I......thank you.... Jersey....”

**Author's Note:**

> No romance in this,


End file.
